10 weeks 3 days...

June 5th, 2009

Today I am 10 weeks and 3 days.

This afternoon I’m going to the hospital to get registered and all that good stuff. I don’t know if I will be able to see the doctor, but we will see.

I am so excited!! Every day that passes and everything is ok is like a gift sent from heaven!
Although I was very scared of having a miscarriage when I first found out I was pregnant, it is slowing going away as the days pass. I am learning to enjoy the new curves on my body and even the morning sickness!! Go figure!! 

Although I am very happy and can’t wait for my baby to be born, I have managed to get into funky moods and have said things I probably shouldn’t have. For that, I apologize to whoever’s feelings were hurt.

Speaking of feelings being hurt, I know my sister in law got mad at me because I said I wanted my mother to be my baby’s Godmother. Ever since I thought of myself with a baby I pictured my mother being the Godmother. I was told I couldn’t do that but I researched it and even emailed St. Patrick’s Cathedral and YES she can be. There is no reason why she cannot. I am really sorry if she got upset at me and it was not my intention to hurt her, but I never promised anything nor did she asked, she just assumed. I really do not want any animosity, hostility or resentment from her because I love her like she was my own flesh and blood. Unfortunately my mind is made up. I know that my mother in law will probably get upset too because she will think “If a grandmother can be a Godmother, why can’t I?”…This is tearing me apart and it has made me cry, but like I said, my decision was made.

All that matters is that they will both be part of this kid’s life!! Even more so than my own mother because they live closer!! I see my family maybe once or twice a month and I see my in-laws at least once a week. They have been there for me when my mom is too far to come and I will always appreciate that. They will be closer to this baby than they think!! The important thing is that Ada will always be the gramma who is a bus or taxi ride away and Janet will be the spoiling auntie. Ok, I’m not going to continue because I am at work and my eyes are watering as I write. This should be a time of happiness not conflicts!!

I saw this poem and I loved it!! I think it says a lot…even between the lines…

I do not have a face to see,
Or put inside a frame.
I do not have soft cheeks to kiss.
I don't yet have a name.

Not yet can I hold your tiny hands,
Nor whisper in your ear.
It's still too soon to sing a song,
Or cuddle me so near.

But all that will change come this December;
When they say I am due.
You are my first miracle child;
And I can't wait until I meet you!

All I ask between now and then
Is your love for you to grow.
I promise I'll be worth the wait;
Just think of all the joy we'll know!

So as I’m waiting patiently,
Please pray lots of prayers for me.
I cannot wait for you to be a part
Of this wonderful family!

Symptoms: Nausea, vomiting, moodiness, bloating, pain in the buttocks, headaches, EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER!!!!, hungry and fatigue.